Menu? What menu?

Patience, patience and more patience is required to make a great server!  I like to think I've hit that mark, but every now and then on a rough day even I can be pushed over the edge....but wait...it wasn't ME that fell off the cliff into irateness....

I had a table of four older ladies, all probably in their late 60's. Fixed hair, makeup, jewelry on, pretty prim and proper. They all ordered martini's or fruity drinks so you know right off, it's a girls night out!  I'm a huge believer in silent service unless the customers want to talk, so I wasn't bothering them with chit-chat, they had their own thing going on.

After ordering drinks (THAT took a while, many questions), an appetizer (more questions), a demand to turn the sports channel onto Dancing with the Stars, (NOT a problem for me-hate sports!), it was time to order the main course........

Servers have a few pet peeves...one of them being...no one actually LISTENS when we talk!

Favorite case in point..

 Server "I'll be right back with some more tea for you, can I get you anything else?"

Customer in a snippy tone  "I NEED MORE TEA!"   

                                                        LOL  Ah well.....maybe next time....

Anyway, back to the real story! 

I started at pivot point 1, as required (yes, there's a system) got the first lady's order after many more questions....They get two sides with dinner...yes Mam this is the list right here....yes Mam I can tell you what they are...all l5 of them....

Second lady......

Yes mam, that's a fabulous dish...sides? They are right there Mam...of course I can tell you what they are Mam....all l5 of them....again....

Third lady...yes mam..which two sides would you like with that?

  Perfect, thank you.

Fourth and last lady....

What can I get for you Mam? Which two sides?  WHAT ARE THE SIDES?????????
REALLY???

Yes, at this point I am considering banging my head on the table!  

HOWEVER the most hysterical thing happened......the third lady looked at her and yelled.....

"READ THE DAMN MENU MYRTLE!!!!"

I couldn't help it, I had to sit down I was laughing so hard and so were they! 

So we laughed and watched Dancing with the Stars and they were one of the best tables I've ever had.

You never know what those little old ladies are going to say!  Made my day.